Day 51: Fear

I have to be honest, I was terrified to put my first blog post online. I was just another mommy blogger talking about her kid, nothing overly special or unique at all. What would people say? Would other people read it? What if I was too honest...or not honest enough? So many thoughts and questions rolled through my mind as I clicked the "publish" tab. Then the feedback started to come in, people were reading my blog and actually enjoying it!

Well, today showed me a few different types of fear. The first fear happened at Baby Basics this morning, while I was chatting to the group about our craft, Samantha had crawled away from the toy she was playing with. My heart jumped out of my chest as I realized she was no longer in front of me playing. She was just there 2 seconds ago. Where is she? Is she hurt? She's not crying? Why can't I can't hear her? Is she choking, hurt, gone? So many questions overwhelmed me in the split second it took for me to find her. Thankfully, she had only crawled a few feet away into the playroom, but I have never been so scared in all my life.

Once my blood pressure went back to normal, we had a great morning playing with all the babies and making footprints! Samantha is such a social girl and she was just gabbing away to whoever would listen. That's my girl, Chatty Kathy, just like her mom! Let's hope her mouth isn't quite as big.

The second type of fear involved Samantha and the vacuum. Apparently, vacuuming around a 2 1/2 foot 8 month old can be a bit terrifying. That terrible black monster was growling at her and sucking up anything in its path! Even her loyal side-kick Sadie-dog was scared. Ya, OK, that can be a bit overwhelming. Well, out came that big 'ol bottom lip, down came her brows into a scrinch and she started to cry, well it was more of a whiney cry, not a crocodile-tear cry like she's been known to do. So, I picked her up and with the vacuum still running showed her what it was and set her back down. She instantly started to whine again, so I just started to vacuum the hallway instead.

This is when I was SO proud of Samantha. I watched her as she poked her little head from around the couch and stared at that black monster. Then slowly and surely she inched her way closer to the vacuum and touched it! She overcame her fear, stepped out of her comfort zone and looked at something in a new light! Go Samantha!

Well, apparently she also saw the stairs in a new light and decided today was the day that she would climb them. Hello Fear once again as I watched her climb up the first step while holding onto the railing, just like Mommy and Daddy do. I keep saying she is growing up way to fast and this just proves it all over again.

Lastly, the award for Mother of the Year goes to...bah bah bah bah... Momma Laur for leaving a muffin cup on the coffee table. Samantha thought that it would be a delicious bedtime snack...yup she actually ate it! Well, only a portion of it, but the second I grabbed her to get it out of her mouth, she was like "I don't think so" and SWALLOWED it! There's that fear once again as she started to choke on it. I instinctively grabbed her, threw her on my knees and swatted her back so hard I thought I'd break her ribs. Thankfully, no ribs were broken and no faces went blue but that is going to be one interesting diaper to change...

Needless to say, as I sit hear reliving all this fear, I think I'm going to make myself a cup of tea and go to bed. Tomorrow is another day and dang nabit I just know it will have it's own set of challenges. good night my dear followers, good night Samantha. I'll see you all in the morning.